mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
