I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize