I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
