My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
