Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize