If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize