that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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