i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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