He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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