I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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