So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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