Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
