why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
