Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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