dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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