What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
