I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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