I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We talked him into tasing himself.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
