dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
