Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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