It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
