The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
