We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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