I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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