so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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