Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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