I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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