I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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