what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
