Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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