Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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