I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
