She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
