Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
