I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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