Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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