So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize