you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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