If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
