i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize