I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize