On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
