I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I love you. Go after that dick
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
