So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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