these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
