I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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