i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize