and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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