you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My friends, they love my intelligence
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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