he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
