ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
