I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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