My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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