He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
