it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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