oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
