If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
