your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you would pick up someone in the library
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
