do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
