We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
