yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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