Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Couch. On fire.
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