I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
