so that wasnt chicken after all
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
and she was petting her beer can
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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