Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
