I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Someone came in the potted fern
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
