Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
