The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
