I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
