i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Watching her eat just hurts me
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
