so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Are we still banned from the library?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
