Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
