I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
