you guys were way drunker than both of me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
